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Saturday, December 30, 2006
i cant believe tomorrow is 31 december- the last day of 2006. time seems to past so quickly, especially this year. a new year is coming, holiday's coming to an end, a new school year is starting, i'll be sec3, no more sec4s...
reflecting on the year 2006. i'd prefer to make this a private post actually, but i shall grant byron his birthday wish. this year has been a horrible year actually. it started off pretty okay, and then it went downhill, it managed to climb a little and then went down again.
academics. i didnt do my best when preparing for eois/ eoys. though i know i decided to put in more effort into my eoys so that i could pull up my overall gpa and thank God (: but basically i was procrastinating everytime, i used the time i set aside to study to watch tv/ use the comp. i was naughty and didnt hand in my chinese homework on time. i basically squandered all my free time away. i want to try my best next year, i want to put in 100% of my effort and see the results of the effort put in. i know i can do well if i want to. and therefore peiling shall strive to do so.
class. im really thankful for 212 i mean seeing how people start hating their new classes made me love 212 all the more. we've got a mix of very different people, and despite the initial disagreements, divisons and what not, i really enjoyed the time spent with 212. net carn and drama night (: of course there's the stereotype that 212ers are muggers and smartypants and what not, but whatever others say, the people there are great and we work hard and play hard. we know when to study and when to just let go and have fun. im just praying that i'll get a good class next year- classmates who are encouraging and a good influence. class environment is very important i think. ive been lucky to have 111 and 212.
gb. i enjoyed gb much more this year compared to last year. maybe because im no longer that poor lost sec1 who's the youngest in school. i got to know seniors better- much better and stopped thinking that they were dao and scary people like hil but anyway =D. i got to know more batchmates like elissa whom i never knew existed >< i got to know people better. leading worship and playing for worship during gb was a good experience too, and a fulfilling one. it'll be weird next year without the sec4s and i'll definitely miss them. it'll just be different without the crazy fun batch06 but we always have to say byebye in the end dont we. batch08 will be in charge on june camp next year and i hope we do a good job and everything, may june camp make our batch and not break it.
shirim. i was only okay with it at first, going for the sake of going. and later on when we started playing the pipes and i couldnt coordinate my blowing and all, i was really discouraged and started dreading shirim. because everyone could play properly except me. but later on i got the hang of it and things started to get better. then there was the whole wallace walking off incident and ms leow talking about it during june camp. a while later was thinking of quitting band because i lost interest and didnt see the point of continuing since i couldnt play well. but for some reason i still went for practices and now im in love with the pipes (: but i still need to improve if not i think it'll be come a cycle and i'll drag my feet to practices.
family. other than my brother and sister, i know i wasnt very close to my parents at the start of the year. it wasnt that they didnt care about me or anything, man they care a lot for me. but it's just that i shut myself off from them, i dont know whether it's because i was tired but i just didnt feel like elaborating on what i said. until about the end of the year, for some mysterious reason i decided to talk more. the whole switching church thing made me argue with them a lot and i dont know whether me not saying anything now is good or bad. initially i was determined to have my way in the end but i mean i dont want to quarrel with them again. it's not fun arguing with people, much less your parents. and im sure they feel the same way. im trying to take the whole switching church thing as it is so i'll just see how it goes. i mean they're the head of the family, ive just to believe that God is guiding them. but anyway i love my dad mum sis and bro. of course there's always the usual disagreements, conflicts and what not. but family's still family isnt it.
friends. let's talk about school first. ive made new friends in school i mean obviously since it's a new class. but it's quite sad how classes/ ccas really determine how much you talk to people. one example is sulyn. i havnt spoken to her for ages and im quite sad about it. i should really attempt to keep in touch with all of them right. like maybe drop them a note on valentines day or it doesnt even have to be a special day. okay i shall, i dont want to see friends drifting away from me, or me away from them. church. hahah i know everyone there, so uh yeah. but of course making friends with the newcomers and all is really fun, and im glad that they settled in well, some went for camp and enjoyed themselves a lot. so very good! (:
church. was involved in the planning of a total of 3 camps this year [and i messed up one of them and i still cant forgive myself for that. it's just a major screw-up i dont understand why it happened but it just did and ugh]. it was a great experience being in the comm, ive worked with some of them before but it was the first time i worked with the others. i really dont know how to put it into words, so i'll just have to leave it at great experience. the usual worship leading during yf and playing for 2nd service. learnt a lot from the people who were there to guide namely uncle fred uncle ryan matthew anna. as usual i enjoyed band practs- good time to bond and share and have fun. being in-charge of the p6s was fulfilling too. watching them grow spiritually [and of course growing taller physically x)], helping them prepare for their psle, getting encouraging notes and stuff from them. and seeing them resolving the conflicts among them and becoming more bonded than before. it was tiring and at times disappointing, but nevertheless thank you God for the opportunity given to me to guide and lead these young ones. then came the whole switching church thing and me feeling upset and all. i still am. im resistant to change, and i dont know whether it's bad or good. im still attached to bc no matter what. it's where i grew up and i know everyone there and everyone knows me. we're family. it's just a change too huge for me to accept. i really dont know how things are going to be. whether i'll still decide to continue being in the youth comm- planning camps and all or whether i should resign from it. it's a serious decision and i guess i'll just pray about it. i think i'll still serve in the worship ministry until the new people are trained and they have enough people, but maybe not as often. told auntymf that i wont follow the p6s wait they're sec1s next year up so they'll get new "student-mentors". as for zion, i really dont know. but if He brings my family there, He has His own purpose and i'll just have to follow even if i dont understand.
spiritual life. my spiritual walk with God has been bad. it's been terrible. it was average at the start of the year and it started dropping and dropping and dropping. but on the way i guess i realised more of myself, and how much pride i had within me. and i never saw it as a hindrance or rather a stumbling block to having a closer relationship with God. and all the time i coudlnt feel Him or when He seemed so far away, there's this emptiness in me that nothing can fill up. unleash helped a lot in the sense that it gave me this extra push to take another step to want to restore the relationship i had with him previously. but of course there came the whole messing up the dec church camp and all, it'll take quite a while for me to get over it. because it's really a big matter and no matter what, i have to bear the responsibility. but whatever it is, no one said the road is going to be easy, it may just be harder but i've just got to have faith. it's easier said than done, but ah well. one thing i realised is that my spiritual walk really affects every aspect of my life- my academics, the way i react and things like that. even if it's not obvious to me, i realise it because i mean it's my life right okay nevermind. i have to be right with God before my life can be on the right path.
and now that im done with the main areas i want to reflect on, i would like to thank some people whom God has blessed me with. let's start off with church.
1. brandon- need i say more. thank you for being understanding, lending a listening ear, encouraging me, giving me advice and always being there for me. best friend indeed (:
2. refresh. renew. regenerate and unleash camp comm-it's really great to see you guys after a tiring day at school and all. thanks for always making my day and taking care of me and making sure im alright, talking to me, giving words of encouragement, the smile peiling club and all the give-peiling-a-hug day and what not.
3. uncle fred- thanks for guiding me, calling the day before i lead worship to pray for me and all, although it's outside your job and i really appreciate it.
now school.
1. hilary- youve been a great senior and friend. thankyou for all your encouraging and enlightening smses. i mean really, everytime after i sms you i feel better. so yeah thanks (: and to think i thought you were some dao person, i must really thank sherlyn. =D
2. sherlyn- even though the seating arrangement and all during the second half of the year made it harder for me to talk to you. but it was fun passing postcards to you in class in the second term. and our visit to the beach after watching the om performance, it was good talking to you (:
3. squish- thanks for your hugs and your encouragements when im leading worship and all (:
4. jan- i realise that next year if they dont merge and we have only 1 triplit class, i'll be seeing you like during school hours and during gb too. hahah but thanks for always being around me hahah.
5. elissa- there's no specific thing to thank you for. but i just know i have to thank you because i just have to. okay im not making sense. anyway i wrote everything in your birthday card [have you read it!] so you can read it if you havnt (:
actually i would like to thank all gb people and 212-ers. (:
actually i still have a lot more to say but since it's like close to 11pm. i shall just publish this post if not it'll take me another hour or so to type my thoughts out. another time maybe (:
because i dont think i'll be blogging before 2007, happy new year everyone. may God bless you richly in the coming year and may you grow closer to Him and let Him guide you in whatever you do. trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding. in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
simplicity.
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simple facts
peiling
30 march
christian
tnsrgs
